Completely Natural
by My Dictator Level is Over 9000
Summary: A million mysteries and questions were just solved about Doofenshmirtz. So THAT'S why he took the night shift... A million more mysteries however were just opened. Rated M for...stuff in later chapters. Co-authored by randomfanfictioner01.


**Authors Note: This isn't graphic or anything it's just suggestive. Very brief Perryshmirtz. I don't know if I'll continue this or not and if I do then the rating will change to M. If someone wants to co-author the next chapter then leave it in a review or PM me, that's the only way I'll continue this is if I have some help.**

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Completely Natural:

Dr. Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein walked down the hallway of the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness Head Quarters or this sentence can go another way.

Rodney walked down the hallway of the LOVEMUFFIN HQ. This is how the sentence would go if the author wasn't pressed for words.

Anyways, Rodney walked down the hallways after another one of LOVEMUFFIN's building contests. All the members entered their creations and like always only one turned out victorious. That one however _wasn't _him.

Doofenshmirtz won again for the second time in a row, which was pretty impressive. Albeit he won by default the first time but it was still impressive that he won twice, and in a row too.

So now the bald scientist was heading to the winner's newly constructed work area. It was one of the grand prizes of the contest. The winner got a shift in the work area to come in and use as much as they liked at the time of their choice. The 1st place winner got to choose their shift first then the 2nd place winner got to choose and the third place winner got stuck with whatever was the last choice, most likely the night shift. The scientists had set it up so that the 1st place winner (if they were in their right mind) would pick the morning shift so that they could finish their inator before their nemesis would come in a little before lunch like usual, very convenient actually. The 2nd place winner would most likely choose the afternoon shift and the 3rd place winner was stuck with the night shift. Now that is unfair to the 3rd place victor but _hello _evil!

For some odd reason Doofenshmirtz chose the night shift. Everyone knew that there was always something a little off about Doofenshmirtz; that maybe he just wasn't _all there_ and this confirmed it but no one questioned him about it. So Heinz got the night shift while Professor Poofenplotz got the evening shift and Dr. Diminutive got the morning shift.

Rodney put his ear to the door and raised an eyebrow at Doof's voice from inside.

"Ohhh so is THIS your way of congratulating me on being the winner? If so then you're doing a REALLY good job at it…"

"Heinz?" Rodney opened the door and stepped inside (big mistake) "Heinz, what are you-" His eyes widened.

Doofenshmirtz silenced himself and was about to give an explanation when Rodney began backing out of the room, slowly shutting the door behind him. Dr. Roddenstein stood shocked in the hallway. A million mysteries and questions were just solved about Doofenshmirtz.

So THAT'S why he took the night shift.

…

A million more mysteries however were just opened.

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**The Next Day.**

Doofenshmirtz walked down the halls of LOVEMUFFIN HQ after a meeting. He sat straight across from Rodney at the table, now normally this would be annoying to Heinz but today it was just downright awkward; _Especially _after what had happened last night. He was such a dumkopf, why didn't he lock the door?

To make things more awkward, he bumped into Rodney.

"Good evening Heinz."

"Oh uh…Hey Rodney." Doofenshmirtz rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "L-listen about what happened yesterday, I'm really so-"

"It's quite alright Doofenshmirtz, I really should have knocked."

The German man stared dumbfounded at his colleague "You should have?"

"Yes and what you were doing was completely natural."

"It was?"

"Sex is a completely natural thing Heinz."

"It is?"

"Stop it" Rodney glared.

"I do?" Doofenshmirtz snapped out of it and shook his head "I guess I'm just a little stressed and embarrassed about this happening. You must me pretty embarrassed yourself Rodney, I mean you walked in on-"

"Look Heinz, I think it'd be safe to just forget that this whole thing ever happened."

"Really? Well y-yeah that'd actually be great!"

"Good, yesterday never happened." Dr. Roddenstein started to walk off.

"Wait Rodney!"

Rodney turned and raised an eyebrow.

"Y-you won't tell anyone about this right?"

"No Heinz, I won't tell anyone that I walked in on you and your nemesis having sex."

"Okay good." Doofenshmirtz looked half relieved and started twiddling his thumbs, embarrassed to ask the next question "A-and you won't tell anyone that he was on top…right?"

Rodney stared at the scientist before answering, the conversation suddenly getting a little bit too awkward and detailed to bear "I won't tell anyone anything."

"Good…Rodney?"

"Yes, Heinz?" The man dreaded what the brunette had to say next, this was getting way too weird.

"R-remember when you said that what I was doing was completely natural? Well…there's nothing wrong with me right? I'm not a- a-"

"You love who you love." Rodney shrugged.

"Thanks Rodney."

"It's no problem at all Heinz, if there's anything you or Perry the Platypus need then don't hesitate to ask."

The two said goodbye and parted ways. Doofenshmirtz didn't know it but Rodney was a little jealous. It was very rare to have a relationship like those two had and little did they know that a security camera was installed into the new work area. THAT should bring up an interesting meeting at LOVEMUFFIN one day but for now he'd let them have their fun...

Only for now.

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**A/N: Hooray for awkwardness!**


End file.
